Confession No. 42 — There are lessons to be learned from eggrolls
I’ll say one thing about my wife. She’s the epitome of consistency. I don’t know how she does it, except that maybe she’s also honest — to a fault.
If you have ever read about the sauerbraten incident, this story belongs in the same chapter. This time, however, I was on the receiving end of some brutal honesty.
It was some time in 1995 or 1996. I decided to make homemade Chinese-style eggrolls. I’d made them many times to very positive reviews. These were nothing special as far as ingredients — just the standard cabbage, carrots, garlic, sprouts, bamboo shoots and water chestnuts — along with baby shrimp and some roasted pork.
But the production is something akin to making homemade tamales. You have to prepare the various filling ingredients; combine them (or not); get your beaten eggs and wrappers ready; heat your oil; and rock and roll. Like tamales, homemade eggrolls are not a make-them-for-one-meal thing. It’s a project.
On second thought, the ingredients are special. Why? Because the ingredients in my Chinese-style eggrolls are allowed to stand out, versus the black pepper or ginger-flavored versions you find in your grocer’s freezer, or at your local Chinese buffet. Oh, I use ginger and other spices in my recipe, but my Chinese-style eggrolls are so good that you don’t even need dipping sauce. Unless you ask my wife.
I’d been chopping and mixing, rolling and frying for at least a few hours when Catherine walked through the front door. Sitting on the edge of the counter was a baking pan with dozens of golden eggrolls stacked in a pyramid. Most of them would be cooled and placed in the freezer to enjoy later. But the prettiest Chinese-style eggroll — which I’d already set aside — would go to the love of my life.
“Looks like you’ve been making eggrolls,” she said.
“Just about all day,” I replied. “And these are so worth it. They are the best eggrolls you’ll ever eat.”
So, I dropped her eggroll back into the wok for a few seconds, then set it to drain and cool slightly. I’d also made her some homemade duck sauce using apricot preserves, cilantro, soy sauce and toasted sesame oil. She didn’t need the dipping sauce, but I wanted to make my point as a cook.
She dipped her eggroll in the sauce and took a bite.
“Well? What do you think?”
“Mmm,” she said, chewing. “Good.”
Her ‘good’ wasn’t the sound of ‘Wow!’ good. It was more the tone you hear when that person has doubts — just this side of being a question, instead of a statement. I was insulted and devastated.
“Good? Is that all? It’s just good?” I asked.
And then she said the one thing that no guy ever wants to hear — no matter what the woman is talking about.
“Yours aren’t the best I’ve ever had, but they are good eggrolls.”
“Damnit, Catherine! You have to be kidding, or your tastebuds have some major growing up to do. What are the best eggrolls you’ve ever had?”
“I don’t know Adam,” she replied. “Don’t be so be so insulted. These are good. OK?”
As my rage grew, I grabbed the large pan of eggrolls and shoved them into the trash. I then gave her my dirtiest look, and stormed from the kitchen. Much of the discussion that immediately followed is not fit for print. Besides, I came up on the losing end of that little talk — and my eggrolls were gone.
There are a few lessons to be learned from this story. Fortunately, we learned them. For me, it was accepting that someone else might not consider my eggrolls to be the best. I say, to hell with them.
My wife’s lesson: You might have to lie to Adam about his food, else he could waste $50 in ingredients acting like a spoiled child.
I had planned to unveil my recipe for the best eggrolls ever, but it turned out to be a salad weekend. No, I’m not actively trying to improve my health. It was just that temperatures were in the 90s and I was swinging a sledgehammer for a few hours. Furthermore, construction continued on our soon-to-be new kitchen, and there was nary a place to work. The salad below was inspired by a similar bowl of greens I had at Copeland’s (Louisiana) a few years ago. It is only salad that I’ve ever ordered as a meal. My version uses my own Louis Dressing concoction, which is not too different from the original.
Shrimp & Avocado Salad
w/ Crab Croutons
Is it salad? Or a meal? This protein-loaded plate of goodness sends you away from the table satisfied, but not overstuffed. The inspiration for this came from the only restaurant salad I’ve ever ordered as a meal.
6-8 cups – Romaine (or other) lettuce, torn
1 small – Purple onion, sliced
1 can – Large pitted Black Olives, sliced
2 – Avocados, sliced or chunked
15-20 – Grape or Cherry Tomatoes
1 lb. – Boiled or Poached Shrimp, peeled and deveined*
8 oz. – Crab meat, picked
1 egg – beaten, seasoned with black pepper to taste
1 cup – Panko crumbs, ground fine
Vegetable oil, for frying
Southwestern-style Louis Dressing
The Croutons
Preheat oil to 360-375F. Mix the egg and the crabmeat well. Place mixture in a strainer so that excess egg is removed. Sprinkle Panko crumbs over mixture and toss with your fingers, separating the crab pieces. Fry for about 1 minute — just long enough to achieve golden brown color. Remove from oil, place on paper plate and set aside while you are assembling salads.
Assemble the Salads
In a large separate bowl, toss greens with about 1/4 cup Southwestern-style Louis Dressing. Place equal amounts of coated greens into 5-6 wide bowls.
Toss shrimp in bowl used to toss greens, adding a little extra dressing, if necessary.
To each bowl of greens, add avocados, onion, tomatoes, black olives and shrimp, as desired. Top with crab croutons.
* The May edition of Southern Living Magazine offers a how-to for poached shrimp. If you don’t have access to the magazine, it basically involves bringing seasoned water to a boil, turning off and removing from heat, adding raw shrimp and covering for five minutes. Once all shrimp is pink, drain and place in ice water.
Southwestern-style Louis Dressing
1 1/2 cups – Mayonnaise
1/4 cup – Mild salsa
3 Tablespoons – Green onions, minced (include some green tops)
1/2 – Fresh jalapeno pepper, minced
1 Tablespoon – Lemon juice
1 teaspoon – Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon – Louisiana-style hot pepper sauce
Combine ingredients in a blender. Mixture should be smooth. Can be kept in refrigerator for 2-3 days, covered.
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Oh my. I actually had to double check and make sure I was reading the correct blog. I know an Adam (Picture Perfect Meals) who would be just as volatile. Then I remembered that he’s the photographer and his wife is the cook. Phew. I’m in the right place. I was so looking forward to seeing egg rolls. Please make them again? I’m sure I’ll think they’re the best ever.
Until then though, the salad does look fantastic.
I will most definitely make them again. Hopefully in the next week, or two. Better yet, my wife and kids will be gone for almost the entire month of July. Maybe I’ll just make a big batch for yours truly while they’re gone.
Umm…the salad looks very good…but you totally had me sucked in with the story of the Eggrolls and I couldn’t wait to see your recipe and try it out with some Fried Rice or stir-fry and then you let me down. You are such a tease. I don’t see how I can forgive you until you share the eggroll recipe.
I figured that would happen. I just didn’t realize that the first two responders would abuse me. You guys deserve the recipe, and I will deliver it to you. I promise.
I wouldn’t say “abuse”, more like just giving you a hard time.
Sorry, Jason. After recalling that eggroll story and putting it down on paper, I have abuse of me on the mind.
Umm, yes….Eggroll recipe please. I love to make homemade eggrolls, even if my husband doesn’t share my love. I think I have learned the same leasson you have, and Greg has learned the same lessons as Catherine.
Although, I finally have gotten to the point where I no longer believe he has primitive tastebuds–just different taste….
Different taste is fine. But some people do have primitive tastebuds.
Different taste is PC for primitive (or just bad) tastebuds….
This, I didn’t know. So, when I use it, I will lower my glasses somewhat and lower my tone slightly. Excellent. Thank you.
What the hay?
Where’s the gosh darn eggroll recipe? You’re lucky this salad looks flippin’ fantastic because otherwise I’d be wallowing in my ticked-off-edness.
BTW, when my wife doesn’t rave (or even doesn’t like something I’ve made) about what I’ve made, it makes my heart hurt. I haven’t thrown anything away…but I have given her “the look” and ignored her…shooting her death rays every chance I get.
She’s like this salad, by the way. How do I know? I showed it to her and she was all, “Why haven’t you ever made me that?” And I was all, “Because Adam JUST shared it. Geez!”
Well, Jen … What the heck are you waiting for? Make your wife the damn salad! For crying out loud!
OMG!!! Tell me NO you didn’t throw those eeeegggee rolls in the trash in a fit of rage!! Ben does the same thing, and when I get that ‘…hummmm, it’s ok…’ or ‘…yeah, it’s good…’ (in the doubting Thomas fashion)…I just remind him that his tongue is not insured by Lloyd’s of London as is Gordon’s!! Great post, Adam…I adore you, your writing, your creations, and, damn, next time, ship ‘em on ice to me!! Ally
LOL, Ally. Thanks. That was a different Adam. The Adam you know is a kinder gentler Adam
haha I am totally like that too! I have been known to throw an entire curry away (on multiple occasions!) because of my husband.
I’ve never really been an eggroll lovin’ kind of girl–until I my Philippian co-worker made his version. OMG…sooooooooooo good!
Shari – Learn from me! LOL. Keep that curry for yourself and let him eat peanut butter.
Thanks for the follow!! Clicked to find out more about you and landed here.. Well what a giggle I’ve had!!
I suppose egg rolls (we call them pancake rolls over here in Blighty) are a matter of taste. No one makes them quite like our local Chinese take-away. They are huge and full of beansprouts, veg, chicken, prawns, pork cha-siu. Scrummy!!
None that I buy from supermarkets or specialist chinese stores are quite the same..
Thanks Sue! I’ll let my wife know she has another supporter. Catherine-1,000 Adam-0
You sound just like my husband. If he makes something and I just say it is good…he is extremely disappointed!!
What can I say? If I can’t get validation from the love of my life, who can I get it from? Oh, wait! That would be me! LOL.
LOL
I believe you, but I would still dip. I know I would. But that’s me. I’m a dipper.
Love the salad, especially the crispy texture element!
As long as you don’t double-dip in the community sauce. Wait. I don’t believe in community sauce. Double-dip all you want to.
Fun reading!!
Thank you, Rhonda!
Great writing! I was totally there….I could see your dirty face and her possibly rolling her eyes as she witnessed you throwing $50 worth of ingredients in the trash because she didn’t tell you what you wanted to hear! Oh and thanks for stopping by my blog. I hope to bring people into my life the way you have. :0)
Welcome to my world! I’m glad you’re here!
Thanks for checking out my “lovely buns”! Your salad looks fantastic and I love egg rolls – that is, if they’re what I know as spring rolls (also called nems or rouleau de printemps where I live!) What are they called in China I wonder?
Thanks, Candy. My guess is that, in China, eggrolls are called “American food.” Thanks for stopping by!
Your shrimp and avocado salad look so delicious! The addition of the crab croutons is perfect! Although, I am curious about your egg roll recipe…
but “Hmmph, I’m giving it all to the kids…at least they appreciate my cooking!” disappointed. Fortunately, he seems to like and enjoy most of the things I make…so I have agreed to keep feeding him, hehe. 
I know how you feel though… Whenever I really knock myself out making a special meal for my husband and he has a “so-so” reaction, I feel a bit disappointed. Not toss everything into the trash disappointed
Thank you, Michelle. As I’ve mentioned previously, that was the ‘old’ Adam. I’m kinder, gentler and generally more selfish nowadays. If they don’t like it, too bad for them. That means I get the whole blasted batch! LOL.. The eggroll recipe is coming soon. I’d planned on including it with the blog entry, but it turned out to be a salad weekend at my home.
Your recipes and stories are extremely enticing and interesting! I will be back to check out more. Can’t wait to fix the avocado salad dish.
Many thanks!
Crab croutons?? STOP IT. YUM.
This looks like such a burst of summer in salad form! All of your photography is absolutely splendid, by the way.
I think anyone who’s ever made something they’re proud of and then it ends up being a lackluster response, well, a bit of irritation is to be expected. Society needs to learn to humor us more, I think…
As a good friend of min would say to such a statement (as he snapped his thumb and lifted it high) “Okay?!?”
Poor Adam…not fair. No respects or loves the effort that goes into our creations as much as they should. That salad looks scrumptious. I can’t wait to try it.
Thanks, Tumbleweed Contessa! (And, woe is me!)
Crab Croutons – enough said. This sounds like a deliciously satisfying meal and perfect as a summer lunch! I will have to try this out
I love anything with avocado, so I’m definitely going to try this salad! Thanks!
haha! I loved your story! I totally do the same thing! Only I freak out even worse if I make something and it doesn’t turn out exactly the way I imagined it. Luckily my boyfriend has gotten very good at averting near disasters! Also that salad looks suuuuper delicious!
Thanks, Erin!
Omg, the Shrimp and Avocado salad looks delicious. I will be experimenting soon, thank you for the inspiration and follow.
Thank you, Miss XYZ!