Confession No. 51 — Why sweat the big things? Worry about the small (really important) stuff.
I’ve been accused a time (or six) of being a complainer. While I’m not ready to accept that, I do admit to griping about certain things in life that are worthy of being bitched about.
Along with my high cholesterol and blood pressure, my tendency to sweat the small things will probably shave some years from my life.
Some of my biggest day-to-day frustrations involve mustard. When I squeeze the bottle and get a couple drams of yellow-colored water — instead of the thick yellow contents — it almost ruins my day. Brown mustard is even worse.
Ketchup’s no better except I rarely, if ever, use it on a sandwich. So, no chance of soaking down the bread. One thing that really bothers me about ketchup, though, are the little packets. First, they are too damn small. And, what the hell is that syrupy goop that ends up on every third packet? It’s as irritating as chigger bites.
Though I don’t usually verbalize my issue with powdered drink mixes — especially the ‘lite’ ones — I tend to go over again and again (in my head) the raunchy taste of the dust. And it never fails: someone in the next room empties a single powder packet into a bottle of water and I inhale — and taste — saccharin or some other nasty artificial sweetener.
Most people probably share my complaint about can openers. I’d rather they not work at all, instead of cutting just enough of the lid to make a mess while still preventing me from prying. These moments make me want to put my fist through the wall.
Speaking of canned goods, someone out there could probably get rich just keeping up with manufacturers who surreptitiously reduce the amount of product — but keep the price the same. They’ve been doing it with coffee for years, but when it comes to stuff like coconut milk or pumpkin, it’s a real pain in the neck, and one reason that Thanksgiving is not high on my list of favorite holidays. Yes. This bothers me that much.
What I don’t bitch about
The weather in my northeast Texas town reached 104 degrees yesterday. It’s uncomfortable. It’s also par for the course. Summer is hot. Anyone who has a complaint (and there are plenty who do) should move to Maine, where there is snow on the ground half the year. As for me … I just make sure the air-conditioner is in working order (we spent $800 just this past month on an emergency service call); the electric bill is paid on time; and that there is plenty of baby powder available for my use. Besides, the hotter the summer, the better October feels.
Car wrecks and traffic tickets have also never really bothered me. I’m speaking of those experienced and received by my beautiful bride, since I have a spotless record in both categories. Wrecks and tickets are inconvenient, expensive and sometimes scary. Still, I tend to get more ticked at the improper grammar or misspelled words written on the citation by the officer.
And traffic itself? Sure, I’ve been known to yell a few expletives in my car. But it’s mainly been when I’ve been on an emergency route to my bathroom. Ever notice that in such situations we tend to catch every red light? Or end up behind Grandpa Grunt? Otherwise, I’m generally calm in the car.
I have never lost a moment of sleep over people’s fashion sense, or lack thereof. So some guys wear their pants around their knees and some people believe it’s OK to go out in public in pajamas. Is this really worth talking about on Facebook? I also don’t advertise my headaches or fire ant stings. Oh, I could. But, let’s face it. Does anyone really care?
I don’t complain about my job, my boss or my co-workers. Why? Because I love all of them. Always have. I’m fortunate in that way … but I’m also a PR guy, so complaining would be bad for the ol’ image.
I don’t complain about mail delivery, politicians or taxes. So long as emails, elections and accountants are plentiful, there is always hope.
So, my reputation is not so deserved after all. Just don’t get me started on garbage disposals or line-jumpers.
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As I’ve mentioned before, it is uncommon for me to get a sweet tooth. It’s even rarer for me to crave ice cream. But this past week I did and, as luck would have it, the freezer was empty. I would’ve complained, but my family was 1,500 miles away. So I decided to recreate a frozen ice cream-like treat from my childhood — named for the soft drink it contains. In the process of trying to obtain the recipe, I ended up enacting a temporary boycott on the company that makes it (the name includes a ‘lucky’ number, followed by a common preposition) because they responded to me with poorly written form letter. My luck changed when my good friend Jen, of Juanita’s Cocina (pronounced coh-seen-ah), confirmed that my dad’s memory was correct: this sweet cold stuff has only two ingredients. For that, the old recipe gets a new name in honor of Jen.
Soda Pop Sherbet (formerly known as 7UP Ice Cream)
This was the homemade ‘ice cream’ that I grew up on — sans the slice of Meyer Lemon. Only two simple ingredients and about 30 minutes in the ice cream maker and the memories came flooding back.
1 quart – lemon-lime soda (or any soda of your choosing)
1 14 0z. can — Sweetened condensed milk
Place ingredients in ice cream maker, following manufacturer’s instructions. This will produce an icy soft-serve, which is exactly what I enjoyed as a child. Want a firmer sherbet? Place in the freezer for another hour, or so.
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This soda pop sherbet is co-seen-ah approved.
P.S.~ That is a kick-ass photo. Just sayin’.
Thanks again for your help, Jen. You saved me from making a few phone calls that I didn’t really want to make.
What an awesome ‘recipe.’ I love the fact that I don’t have to have heavy cream on hand to make this. I rarely have that, but I always have sweetened condensed milk!
So, you do know that if you shake up the bottles before squeezing there won’t be any of that nasty liquid (which I call mustard or ketchup pee), right?
Yes, Mom Chef, but then I would have less to complain about.
hahaha nice! I am often told I am crazy because i get caught up on little things like that too!
It’s not us, Faz, it’s everyone else who is crazy!
I love this recipe idea! I will try it with one of my tea sodas. I grew up with a lime sherbet and 7-Up punch at holidays.
I grew up on that nasty garbage they used to serve for free in the bank lobby — wassail, I think? Gross.
So glad I found you and this Sherbet and even more glad I took the time to read your whole post. You are quite entertaining and I agree with you on most of your points. I often laugh at friends that complain about traffic around here (we only have 4 stop lights) and remind then, it could be so much worse in a big city. Off to look around some more and see what other delicious things you’ve got hidden!
Thank you for your kind comments, MrsJLHayes.
Love this post, Adam! it’s so me! I can totally see myself punching the wall right next to my can opener because my roommate has slowly destroyed it over the year he’s lived here. I only use it for my cat’s tuna, and went to use it this afternoon actually. it half opened the can! I ALMOST went to send my roommate through the wall! LOL
Hey Kris! I hope all is well with you. Insist that the roommate buy a new can opener.
Seriously, Adam! I’ve had it for 10 years and never had a problem until he came to live with me. Now I find myself cleaning the thing out of all his cans’ labels before I use it so it actually goes. Ugh. At least he stopped dropping his uncooked Ramen Noodles all over the floor. Now THAT was a PIA.
Keep up the posts, I love ‘em! Have a great week!
Can openers SUCK. Your ice cream recipe does not!! Beautiful!
Thanks, Natalia!
Ok, I think I might be you minus the car wreak thing, because my grandmother died in one, but other than that I completely agree!
I doubt I would think the same of car wrecks had one resulted in a fatality. I’m glad you stopped by!
Dude, I am totally w/you on the mustard and ketchup! Why in the devil I don’t remember that the water dribbles first, then you get a pretty good squirt, then the suction’s all gone and you get a spray/splatter…that’s when I’m really ticked! lol! Always luv seeing your smile and reading your posts! xo Ally
Appreciate you, Ally. I’ve even considered going back to jarred mustard, but nah. The only other option with ketchup is the old glass bottle, which was a real pain at times.
Sounds yummy and refreshing – the ice cream recipe that is (lol). Thanks for sharing.
“Still, I tend to get more ticked at the improper grammar or misspelled words written on the citation by the officer”
I’m going to be laughing at this ALL day!!
But it’s so true, Tyco.
Neat recipe! I love how simple it is. My brother will surely appreciate this.
Thank you!
This looks DELICIOUS! I think I need to go out and get an ice cream maker.
Thank you, Anitka.
Ugh…the ketchup and mustard thing…TOTALLY worthy of copious complaints!
I’m grateful you voiced something that’s been living in my head all these years…
Thank you. I’m just glad it lives in someone’s head other than my own.
Congrats on being freshly pressed! I’m happy to have discovered your blog. As I was reading this post, I was struck by the eerie similarities between us two – I’m also facing an early death due to high blood pressure, high cholesterol and my uncontrollable rage. The Husband tells me all the time I need to calm down. I hate when I squeeze the mustard bottle and that disgusting film of water dribbles out so I’ve conditioned myself to shake the bottle every time before I use it. Unlike you, I sweat the big and small stuff, so I’m obviously going to die far earlier than you. Thanks for this entertaining post!
Nice post ,creative recipe .l might try it.Change makes life more challenging. Regards. Jalal Michael
Reblogged this on Brent A Robinson.
That putrid mustard water is one of the great banes of my existence. Why do I so often forget to shake the bottle first? WHY?!?!
However, traffic definitely ranks much higher on the list of things that immediately tick me off. I feel like the slow drivers keeping me from even doing the speed limit, the impatient ones cutting me off and the distracted ones drifting into my lane while they text on their phones are basically saying their time is more important than everyone else’s. And nothing gets me more riled up than some good old fashioned entitlement issues!
That sherbet looks delicious!
Aschmidt – I do confess to believing that my time is more important than everyone else’s, but I drive in the slow lane and rarely cut anyone off.
As long as you’re in the right lane, you’re fine with me! It’s the jerks clogging up the passing lane, and therefore the entire highway, that get me raging.
I was sucked in to looking at your blog by the image of the sherbet. Loved your yarn and totally agree that the small things are the ones that set us off. Reblogged your recipe on
http://www.janeykylescott.wordpress.com in the hope my daughter will make some.
Thanks, Janey. I’m flattered.
Have you ever had 7Up cake? It’s basically a pound cake made with 7Up. It was my brother’s favorite growing up and it’s the only cake I cannot get to come out of the pan without sticking!!
I’ve never heard of it Barbie, but it sounds interesting.
This is a beautiful blog! Now I really want birthday cake and ice crea for my birthday this week! (LOL) We’d love you to come see what we are up to at my CelestialMusingsBlog.com as we have combined my husband, Nazim Artists contemporary art work with my holistic healing paradigm which we call the Art of Wellness Collection. I have a spelt brownie cake I will share one of these days and homemade raw cream ice cream recipe! Nazim and I cordially invite you to stop by with perhaps a cup of tea and have a cyber visit with us too! http://celestialmusingsblog.com/about/
Thank you for the invite, Celeste! I accept!
Can I do this without an Ice cream maker?
Absolutely Steff. Just place mixed ingredients in a large (preferably metal) container and freeze, stirring occasionally.
I know what you mean about the weather. I grew up in Texas, and recently moved from St. Louis to Reno. I quickly got sick of all my St. Louis friends posting pictures of thermometers or advertising the high temperature of the day! As though summer temperatures are a surprise every year! Get over it people! I bet you’re gonna do the same thing in the winter, right?! Mustard does not make me happy either. Anywhoo, funny blog.
Vagabond – Amen!
Totally food for thought, I also refuse to accept that I complain about what pisses me off. And the older I get the more I feel that it is my right to remove cumbersome filters:) Anyhow, love your blog, and the photo looks so cool and delicious, I am trying it even though I am not a soda person. cheers!
Thank you, Silvachiqa. Neither am I a soda person. No worries. It’s not fizzy.
OK Adam good to know, thanks again.
I don’t have an ice cream maker, but I’m going to try this recipe and just beat the heck out of it with a fork. Great post!
Sarah – I don’t have an ice cream maker either, but I did borrow one and still put it in the freezer. Just mix the hell out of it and freeze it, stirring occasionally with a really strong fork or axe handle.
Great post! I want to try this recipe. I bought an ice cream maker last summer thinking I would use it soo much but found that alot of the recipes were more time consuming than I thought they would be….So, I let my sister take the ice cream maker….I hope she will let me borrow it back. haha! This sounds and looks yummy…hopefully I’ll get to try it soon!
It’s cheap, easy and good Gigglebox. Now, go grovel for your ice cream maker.
cooL…. I would love to try that recipe… Great post… tnx so much for sharing!
My pleasure!
How did I not see this? What a fun and easy way to make something yummy…I am thinking orange soda for a dreamcicle sort of thing…what would beer do? Hmmmmm.
Hmmm, TexanasKitchen. I’m not sure.
Love the recipe and its simplicity.
Fewest ingredients of anything I’ve ever made.
So simple! need to invest in an ice cream maker now…
Me too..
This is great! I like to complain about cyclists, bad grammar and can totally relate to the horrible sauce dribble!
Cyclists are a whole different story.Right up there with balloonists.
Thanks for this awesome ice cream recipe, I love it ’cause its too easy to make. Added this on pinterest to share to my friends.
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colorado springs divorce attorneys
Sure thing, Alyssa. And thank you!
I hate ketchup pkgs!!! I also hate brown mustard!
I love heat – the hotter the better (though in Toronto we rarely if ever get as hot as Texas) and traffic tickets and traffic are just irritating – love this blog!
And I love you, Niki, for loving this blog. Please stop by often!
Love sherbet, so I will be trying out this simple recipe. Congratulations on being freshly pressed!
Interesting recipe. With only two ingredients, it’s worth a shot! Great post.
Thanks, Muddlemom!
Amazing confession. I remember my father making this ice cream when we visited my grandmother in Alabama; using the old crank turn ice cream maker. My cousins and I (ages ranging from 30 to 4) would take turn cranking it. Yummy – I’m sure you also tried this with Nehi or Crush (orange, strawberries and grape) or 50/50 (grapefruit/lime) pop from the Midwest.
Glad you stopped by, Barb. Believe it, or not, I’ve never had this with any other type of soda. After being insulted by the 7UP company, I was tempted to use Sprite, but I didn’t want to spend another $1.07. My friend Jen suggested various sodas and add-ins, such as pineapple, coconut, etc., which I’ll try.
Insulted?? Oh my!! That’s not good. There’s a 7UP upside down cake recipe my mom has – she made it a few times when we were small. It’s a very old recipe (40+) at least. Pineapple sounds good as an add-in. Yum!
Wow, looks so yummy! Wish I could have grown up with this and tried it too. What we have over here in the Phils, is ice cream from a vendor with a sort of push-cart that he sells on the streets. My memories about it are fun as well. :=)
It’s never too late, Beezz! Thanks for your kind words.
listen up dear … what I tell you is for real … you really have to teach yourself not to sweat any stuff … for that’s what gives you the bl pressure and cholestrol and anything else you care to put down as illnesses. BUY MY BOOK MASTERMIND AND TAKE THE CHALLENGE
I AM GIVING YOU OF GETTING RID OF YOUR ILLNESSES. I HAVE TAUGHT MYSELF TO BE A DOCTOR FOR YOUR HEART .. TO TRULY TEACH YOU THAT ITS OK BABY. BUT YOU GOTTA TRUST ME FIRST AND READ MY MASTERMIND. KNOCK AND THE DOOR WILL BE OPENED … SEEK AND YOU WILL FIND … ASK AND YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE KEY TO THIS TRUTH OF GOD. BLESSING ALWAYS …RODA
Thanks, Roda.
Soda pop Sherbet looks great! I can’t believe I’ve gone twenty years of my life without making/ eating this!
http://stepstochangetheworld.wordpress.com/
By all means, don’t go another 20! This stuff is just too easy. Glad you stopped by.
I MUST make this! Thinking of using cream soda… Congrats on being ‘freshly pressed” too!
Love this recipe – can’t wait to try it.
Thanks Anne!
That looks amazing!
Gracias!
The mustard thing makes me crazy too! And Heinz has those new ketchup bottles that stand lid side down, supposed to keep the juice from coming out first, doesn’t work, at all! You still have to shake the bottle. Nice try on your invention Heinz, but here is an invention you can have for free, just print “Shake well before serving” on the side of the bottle.
Good call, Chris!
“Some of my biggest day-to-day frustrations involve mustard. When I squeeze the bottle and get a couple drams of yellow-colored water — instead of the thick yellow contents — it almost ruins my day. Brown mustard is even worse.”
This doesn’t make you a complainer; it’s a legitimate irritation. It’s like the mustard is defying you by lifting its cap on you food…..
I appreciate the validation, kletterman. Damn mustard bottles.
Just texted my husband to pick up those 2 simple ingredients…he bought me the ice cream maker fitting for my Kitchen Aid mixer…and I have yet to use it! He’s been poking at me to make some ice cream, and he hates chocolate.
Enjoy dessert!
Thanks for stopping by my blog. Love your writing and your sense of humor. I will be back.
Thanks, Norma!
Amazing! A “pantry” recipe for sherbet. No special trips to the store for dairy, just grab 2 items from the pantry and you are on your way to yummy sherbert. I can’t wait to try it. Thanks Adam.
My pleasure, Karen! Glad you stopped by.
Somehow I missed this post until today. Ya done good, Adam, ya done good.
Thanks, bro. I meant to tell you that my new next door neighbor came over a couple of weeks ago (when family was on vacation without me) and said “Hey, if you aren’t doing anything tonight, I have a Big Green Egg and we’re having a pizza party.”
No, you failed to mention that. Did you go? How was it?
I did not go. Hopefully, he’ll extend another invitation.
Bummer. Maybe next time. I took a pizza over to my neighbors house (before we moved) just so he’d invite me to swim in his pool. It was summer, it was hot, sue me.
I’m down with such sickness, man. Nice move. Did it work?
Well done Adam! Freshly pressed top ten. I love your blog, love Texas hot weather, there’s AC and recipes like yours to cool down with.
Thanks, KT. I really appreciate the kind words.
Great ice cream!
Thanks, Patty!
Any kind of sorbet makes me happy in the summer. As for the rest, you really were channeling Andy Rooney when you wrote this!
My only consumer pet peeve is packaging that requires several sharp instruments to open and only results in bandages, stitches and emergency room visits. I used to get so mad but living with Brian has calmed me down. Yup, I make him do it. Very zen like now, I am. 
Ah. Andy Rooney. I’ll never forget the Dear Abby letter from the lady whose husband would only pay a certain type of attention to her during the Rooney segment.
Love this recipe – can’t wait to try it. Thnx
Thanks Fahsiondayz!
“the hotter the summer, the better October feels”
LOL!! My sincerest thanks Adam .I am now verbally equipped to quit my bitching about the heat!
It’s all good, Ruby. Enjoy the warmth, because I think the world is supposed to end in December, yes?
All the more reason to sit back, savor the aroma of the first cup of coffee in the morning and do absolutely nothing but revel in the wonderment of it all. Have a terrific Saturday!
A very entertaining read! Love the things you don’t complain about…I’m there with you on all of them…except for traffic hold ups. They can get the best of me! The ice cream sounds grand and simple – a perfect recipe to try!
But what can you do about traffic? Not much, which is why I have a bigass QR code sticker on both the rear window of both cars. Stuck in trafic? Scan this — and go to my blog.
Great read, I recently had to vent about my experiences of healthy eating http://theconfessionsoftwobornagainninjas.wordpress.com/2012/08/05/my-thoughts-on-healthy-eating/
Here’s the deal. Apples taste a lot better in a fried pie. Tomatoes are awesome on a pizza. That’s all you need to know about that.
Hi, neighbor! I live in Northeast Texas too! Loved your wit and the recipe! Thanks for sharing! Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!
Thanks, Dawn? Longview here! Where you from?
Reblogged this on affiliatecareer.
Get an OXO can opener ~ you’ll love it. It even gently removes the lid with a little pincer, nary a sharp edge to be found. And that sherbet, bing-bang awesome!
I have other OXO stuff. Perhaps I’ll pick up the can opener too. Thanks for the tip and thank you for stopping by!
Try keeping me away!
Well, heck. Then bring along 50 of your closest friends! This week we’ll be talking about word recognition.
I got stuck at the mustard / ketchup juice thing. That upsets me so much I can’t actually talk about it. It’s like death coming at you when all you wanted was happiness. Just awful. (P.S. Loved the blog – I have subscribed and will be returning!)
Becky – Welcome to my world!
Hurrah! Thank you!
Reblogged this on bexie001.
Awesome!
Hope all is well.
xoxo
The Clarences
http://www.theclarences.com
Thank you for stopping by!
No problemo, Adam! Thanks for having us! (: How’s your weekend?
xoxo
The Clarences
http://www.theclarences.com
It’s all good here. And there?
All great here, as well, Adam! Thank you!
xoxo
The Clarences
http://www.theclarences.com
Let me know whenever you come this way. I’m really bad at guitar, but I can play a few chords. And I sing better than Willie Nelson. I think I’d like to guest with the band.
Sounds like a plan, Adam!
Hope all is well.
xoxo
The Clarences
http://www.theclarences.com
This looks delicious! Will be trying this out when I am free…
http://ohhhoney.wordpress.com/
Thank you, Jennie!
My culinary skills just got better! I agree, great food comes down to irs smallest details. Thanks to this
I like your confessions of what you do and don’t complain of. I complain about all of it! As I confessed in my ‘About’, I have an easily activated frustration button. I am certain I will eventually go to Heaven, or Nirvana, and nothing will ever bother me again. I’m not sure this is a desirable state, but after a lifetime of frustrations, and then castigating myself for not appreciating my good life and all that I do have, it may be a sweet relief. As for what other people wear in public, if they didn’t wear them, we wouldn’t have those great pix of the shoppers at Wal Mart that make the rounds, now and then.
Indeed, the Wal Mart photos bring us laughter, joy and … material. As for complaining? Everything is fair game. Glad you stopped by!
Absolutely brilliant.
Thanks, Megan!
Soda pop and ice cream is a deadly combination, yet one I can’t help but indulge in from time to time. Ah, the joys and pains of having a sweet tooth!
I agree with your “complaints” which I am sure are voiced by all who have ever stocked up on canned goods and processed foods in the event of an actual nuclear winter. Eating is a serious affair because it’s straightforward, unlike politics and parking tickets. Dodgy packaging and cheapened products are a hassle, nevertheless they will never diminish a true epicurean’s love for food. If anything, it heightens the romanticism behind making things yourself, even if it’s just a two ingredient treat made in a Texan summer! Thanks for sharing your simple yet charming recipe and congrats for the ‘Freshly Pressed’ title!
Thank you, Micah. That was one of those recipes I made when my wife took the children half way across the country to visit her family. Perhaps I should have done it for them while they were home, but it was one of those things that occurred when I started missing them and needed some comfort food from my childhood. I appreciate your kind words.