Confession No. 69 — Mea Culpa
Now that Thanksgiving has come and gone, it’s time to play catch-up and hopefully get myself removed from the ‘naughty’ list over the next few weeks.
Concessions and apologies are always a good way to start.
First, to my doctor — I know you’re probably baffled as to why my weight hasn’t changed during the past couple of years, especially since I’ve been walking miles every day and eating a low-fat diet. Truth is, I need to clarify that whole exercise thing with you next time we meet.
To the car salesman (I think your name is Christian) — I knew that my wife was going to mop the floor with you. She can be like that sometimes … but mostly when we’re buying cars. I learned this a long time ago at a Honda dealership in New Jersey, when she bit the head off the salesman, then me. This is why I pretended to browse your lot while y’all were negotiating. I hope you have begun to recover from this experience.
To my guitar instructor — Man, I think both of us know that I’ve spent more time trying to become the next Dave Grohl than practicing those chord transitions. Sorry, dude. I wanted to serenade my wife with ‘Times Like These.’ It didn’t work out as I expected. I’ll follow your instructions from here on.
To the crew of Flight 746 — I know. I have some growing up to do. My bad. Also, I didn’t require the Kosher meal. It just looked better than what you were serving. Shalom?
To the drive-thru attendant at Rusty Taco — It was a joke. I suppose it was in poor taste. Please accept my sincere apologies.
To my neighbors and friends — Sorry we didn’t get Christmas lights up before Thanksgiving. We really don’t prefer mixing up the holidays if we can help it. Such is why we don’t keep the Christmas tree up through Easter, or have Independence Day décor up at Halloween. We know the rest of you ate turkey in the shadows of your Christmas tree … and that’s cool. Again, we prefer to enjoy one holiday at a time.
To those strangers in that Dallas elevator — It was me. Sorry.
And to my children — I had the money. I just didn’t want to spend it on you at the time. I’m always spending on you. I really wanted a couple of things for myself. I’m really sorry I told you that I was broke. I’ll probably be apologizing this time next year for the same offense. Hopefully, you’ll get over it.
Tired of turkey yet? We are. The days following Thanksgiving for us are always akin to coming off a diet — we tend to eat everything that’s non-turkey or dressing related. That means anything with lots of beef. My Beef & ‘Basa Sandwiches certainly fit the bill. Who the hell decided on turkey for Thanksgiving anyway?
Beef & ‘Basa Sandwiches
w/ Caramelized Onions & Cheddar Horseradish Sauce
1 lb – Deli roast beef, sliced very thinly
13 oz pkg – Polska Keilbasa, sliced about ½-inch thick and warmed (I use a skillet)
1 – Large yellow onion, sliced
1 TB – Vegetable oil
6 – Sandwich rolls, toasted
Cheddar Horseradish Sauce
½ cup – Mayonaise
⅓ cup – Sharp Cheddar, grated into fine shreds
1 Tablespoon – Prepared horseradish
1 Tablespoon – Stone ground mustard
1 teaspoon – Louisiana-style hot sauce
Freshly ground black pepper
Caramelize the onions: In a sauté pan or large skillet, heat vegetable oil to medium low. Add sliced onion. Turn occasionally with spatula until onions are limp and lightly browned, about 15 minutes.
Make the sauce: While onion is cooking, combine sauce ingredients in microwave-safe bowl. Place in microwave for about 10-15 seconds, until cheese is melted. Whisk until totally combined and melted cheese is blended into sauce. – You may alternatively do this step over medium-low heat in a small saucepan.
Assemble the sandwiches: Place a good three-finger pinch of onion on the bottom of the roll; top with generous amount of roast beef and 4-5 sausage slices. Spread sauce on the top roll and add a couple of extra dollops over meat.
Makes about 6 sandwiches.