Confession No. 75 — Stop! Right now! (Please?)
I have a fairly thick skin.
Fine. So I don’t, really. But, I’ve learned through the years to move on, or at least keep my trap shut. Sometimes, though, I forget to take my meds.
Pajamas are for bedtime
This could just be a Texas thing. Or, it could be isolated to my hometown. People out in public wearing their pajama bottoms.
And I’m not talking about those stretchy blue jean/pajama combos sold on infomercials.
I remember, as a child, occasionally seeing old ladies out and about with curlers in their hair. I don’t remember the circumstances. It could’ve been that they were buying something at the five & dime while the perm — done at the beauty shop next door — was chemically burning their follicles. Maybe they were just out for a smoke.
Or, they might have been the grandmothers of the current-day sleaze queens who don everything from Betty Boop imprints to camouflage. Publicly!
I could understand someone wearing jammies at 2 a.m. at the drugstore. Heck, I’ve been known to go through the Whataburger drive through around midnight in my bathrobe. But, for crying out loud, I didn’t get out of the car!
There are no redeeming style qualities when it comes to a pair of oversized nylon pants with an elastic waist. Wearing them for mid-day grocery shopping or a trip to the movies is proof of bad taste, laziness or a serious meth habit. Or, all of the above.
For goodness’ sake, put on a real pair of pants!
Cell phone loud-talkers
Can you believe that I encountered a cellphone loud-talker about 10 minutes after I photographed ‘pajama couple?’ I honestly believed that those morons had learned a little couth over the past few years, as I rarely encounter them these days.
As I was pushing my cart beyond the discounted Glade Christmas candle display, this pot-bellied guy wearing jeans, sneakers and a T-shirt took a left turn in front of me as he said ‘Well, you could make me dinner…’
It was then that I noticed a cell phone plastered to his ear.
Seriously, man? It’s bad enough that half of the grocery store knows some of his personal business, but I truly think I overheard some loser trying to play his version of hardball with a lady friend. What do you want to bet that he also drives a Hummer and has a doctored photo of himself on his Facebook profile?
I only wish I’d paid attention to the groceries that he was (undoubtedly) going to pay for with a sports-themed credit card.
No more dirty laundry
At the risk of offending some of my readers … Hell, who am I kidding? I’ve never cared about offending anyone. Especially when I’m trying to save them from themselves. Here’s the deal: Please quit telling us through social media when you’ve walked out on your spouse, or have had a run-in with your in-laws.
First, if you are my friend, call me. You can even send me an email. But to broadcast your dirty laundry — even in code — on Facebook is just … pathetic. Save some pride and keep your personal business personal.
On a related note, my children do not know whom I voted for in November. Oh, they’ve asked. But, I consider my political beliefs to be mine. That’s why you’ll never see anything in these pages about my favorite (or least favorite) politician, gun laws or any other political hot-button issue.
For starters, I don’t know a single person whose opinion has been changed by what he’s read on a blog. Secondly, most people don’t really care about my beliefs. But they do occasionally care enough about political rants to block me — or at least to look at me like I looked at the beautiful ‘pajama couple,’ or that cretin on his cell phone.
So, why bother? Just stop instead. Please?
I was raised eating mostly pork tenderloin or boneless shoulder that had been seasoned lightly and roasted. Dad would make delicious gravy with the drippings. I still occasionally have a hankering for that. But I also like a pork roast that will compliment several additional meals. The following recipe fits that bill very well. We ate from it the first time on New Year’s Day with fried cabbage, cream peas (saved from summer) and pasta. A couple days later, we pulled a portion of it for delicious tacos. Then, the bone served as the pork seasoning in a healthy filling pot of Six-Bean Soup. In case you are are tired of redux meals, just know that Carribbean-style Roasted Pork Shoulder is head & shoulders above the standard holiday turkey.
Caribbean-style Roasted Pork Shoulder
1 – 9-11 lb. Bone-in, skin-on pork shoulder
Freshly ground black pepper
1 medium – Onion, sliced (put in pan with pork roast, discard after cooking)
1 cup orange juice
½ cup red wine vinegar
⅓ cup dark brown sugar
¼ cup kosher salt
2 TB. olive oil
2 TB dried oregano
2 TB – Chile powder
2 TB. ground cumin
2 tsp – Ground coriander seed
1/4 cup – Cilantro leaves and stems, chopped finely
10 cloves garlic, minced
Mix marinade ingredients in a bowl; set marinade aside. Using a sharp knife, cut several 1-inch-deep slits all over pork in a glass or ceramic roasting pan. Generously sprinkle black pepper over top (skin side) of roast. Pour marinade over pork. Chill, turning pork every few hours, for at least 6 hours.
Preheat oven to 325°F.
Place onions in roasting pan around pork. Roast pork, basting with marinade every 30 minutes, until an instant-read thermometer inserted into thickest part reads 160° F, about 6 hours. Let rest before serving.
Serves 5, with plenty of leftovers.