Confession No. 80 — A Valentine’s reminder for the guys: Your woman is lying to you
As far as I’m concerned, Valentine’s Day is not an official holiday. (But my opinion doesn’t matter on this one.)
Sure, there was a Saint Valentinus way back in the day … and some Christian denominations hold a feast in his honor. But, the whole candy and greeting card thing was more of a cultural phenomenon that started — (no) thanks to Geoffrey Chaucer — around the time Chris Columbus was sailing the ocean blue.
It’s been about 600 years since the first child brought a heart-decorated shoe box to school for the annual exchange. About the same amount of time has passed since the first woman said to her beau ‘Please don’t get me anything for Valentine’s Day. It’s just a holiday invented by the greeting card companies.’
Such words are just as untrue now as they were in the days when people referred to each other as Lord Hallmark and Lady Nestle.
Believing equals blundering
It was about a year ago, within these very pages, that I unveiled a sampling of my blurry Valentine’s Day visions. My horrible success rate is largely due to the fact that I tend to take my woman at her word.
Yep. When your girl utters any of the following phrases, you’d be advised to head directly to the florist and the chocolatier:
‘It’s a made-up holiday. Don’t waste your money.’
‘Flowers don’t last, so don’t bother.’
‘They jack the prices on roses this time of year. Wait until our anniversary.’
‘I’m still doing well with my New Year’s resolution. Chocolate would only ruin it.’
Why do I consider comments like these to be the biggest falsehoods since she told me I was the best lover ever? Because, I’ve lived to tell about the numerous times that we agreed to ignore hype — only to come home and find Green Apple Jelly Bellys (my all-time favorite) and a six-pack of Anchor Steam Liberty Ale (another all-time fave).
There are also the scenes at her work, when everyone — except for her — receives something gaudy and red. She tries not to act disappointed, but can’t help having the facial expression that resembles Dorothy’s (when she learns that the Wizard of Oz has nothing in his bag for her).
One thing’s for sure. If that look finds its way to your wife’s face on February 14, you’ll need an electric blanket to keep you warm that night.
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No matter the candles or waiters in tuxedos, romance is difficult in a crowded restaurant. When Catherine and I went to Raimondo’s (on Long Beach Island, NJ) for ‘romantic’ dinners, we were really going for the food. Though I don’t remember what it was called, my favorite on Raimondo’s mid-1990s menu was a breaded chicken breast topped with Prosciutto and Provolone cheese, served atop a bed of Balsamic-sautéed spinach. If you ever get the chance, make reservations and bring your own bottle. Otherwise, your Valentine is sure to love your homemade version of this dish.
Pollo di Raimondo
Impress your Valentine with this simple dish of chicken, sliced ham and smoked Provolone — served atop a bed of Balsamic spinach.
5 – Chicken breast halves (about 6 oz. each)
½ lb – Prosciutto, sliced thinly -or- Cured ham, sliced thinly
5 – Smoked Provolone slices
2 – Eggs, beaten
Plain bread crumbs
2 lbs – Fresh spinach
2 TB – Balsamic vinegar
½ cup – Water
About ½ cup – Extra virgin olive oil
Kosher salt and freshly ground Black pepper
Preheat oven to 350ºF.
Prepare chicken
Trim any fat from the breast halves. Between two sheets of plastic wrap (or one large sheet, folded over) flatten breast halves to about 1/2 inch. Season lightly with salt and pepper.
In a large skillet, heat olive oil over medium-high.
One at a time, dip flattened breast halves in egg bath. Coat completely with bread crumbs. (I do this part in a bag. Just shake.) Fry in olive oil about 2 minutes per side, until nicely browned. Do not crowd the pan. — Set cooked breast pieces aside on a paper plate to drain.
Top each cooked breast half with slices of Prosciutto (or cured ham), then top with cheese slice.
Place all prepared breasts in a large oven-proof skillet, or on a baking sheet. Bake on the middle rack for about 5 minutes, until cheese is nicely melted. (You can broil the pieces if you prefer a browned cheese.)
Prepare spinach
While chicken is in the oven, place Balsamic vinegar and water in a large Dutch oven. Turn heat to high. Add fresh spinach and a pinch or two of Kosher salt. Using tongs, toss and turn the greens until they are greatly reduced and cooked lightly (they’ll still be bright green) — about 2-3 minutes. Continue reducing the liquid as you are plating the dish.
Plate the dish
Using tongs, divide spinach equally on five plates (shaking excess moisture from spinach). Place breast halves atop the bed. Drizzle each breast half with Balsamic reduction, if desired.
Serve with angel hair pasta and pink sauce; roasted garlic smashed cauliflower (pictured); or roasted potatoes.
Serves 5 — or 2 (with leftovers).
Bull’s Eye, dead on, eagle landed, hit the nail on the head~~need I say more! Now go get her something like a spa treatment, pedi/mani, botox certificate~~you’ll be prince charming!! Happy V-Day darlin!
My gosh, Ally! Botox? Spa treatment? (You are right, though.)
Right on, AJ! Never trust a woman about Valentines Day. PS I have forwarded this blog to Larry in case he is still in the dark about such things – most men don’t learn about women as quickly or as well as you!
I appreciate the vote of confidence, but I know very little about The Fairer Sex (beyond the anatomy stuff).
Continue to save the men from themselves Adam. LOL This is good stuff but I’ve been married so long I can honestly say there are far more important days on the calendar than this one for my wife and I. Let’s say the 1st of the month is the one that’s consistent.
For some reason some very important stuff is due on that day and if I forget that day she would be far more angry at me than she would if I didn’t do anything special on 14 February. Ha!
True that, Chef. And let’s not forget the ‘just because’ responsibilities.
I mean it about the hype for Valentine’s Day….that he should ignore the whole thing….but then I would also hate a spa and whatnot…should I be mad enough to want to plaster myself in mud I have a pond…and the Lord help anyone who wishes to put hot stones on my backbone.
Birthdays, however, are something else….so are good recipes like yours.
Spas make me nervous too, Helen. It seems odd to pay someone to place cucumbers over my eyes. I appreciate your kind words, by the way.
I must be the only woman on the planet who’s telling the truth when I say those lines to my husband. Maybe it’s because I’m too lazy to plan/buy/make anything for Valentines so I don’t want to feel guilty when the Husband gets me something fabulous and I’ve given him a big fat nothing. I’d gladly make and eat this amazing dish though. Nothing says love like food. And nothing makes me angrier than wasted money on stupid flowers that are just going to die!
You’d seriously get angry if your man bought you flowers? Why can’t
all
women be like you!?!
OK I am laughing because I say that stuff AND mean it and HE gets all cranky when i skip/forget/don’t care at all about Valentines Day! I am totally with gottagetbaked. I just can’t be bothered. Once a guy bought me flowers out of the blue and I discovered later in the day that he had been a very naughty boy! (But I got to practice my drop-kick!). So flowers make me nervous, I never eat chocolate and I look awful in pink! How sad it must be to be married to me.. Oh well!! c
Cecilia – He must’ve been pretty naughty to have bought flowers. Flowers are number 3 on my ‘Oh hell! I messed up!’ list, behind drinking to excess and renting a hotel room (just for me). By the way, I’ve never met anyone who looks nice in pink.
In my case, Valentine’s Day IS an official holiday: It’s my birthday! So it’s typically my favorite day of the year. But a double whammy for my lover. Your breaded chicken looks perfect, by the way.
Happy Birthday! And thank you for your kind words.
Hi Adam,
I thought you had stopped posting. It seems I managed to ungollow you. My bad.
Best,
Conor
Welcome back, Sir!
When I say “don’t bother with roses, their prices are ridiculous this time of year,” I really mean, “buy me some pink tulips.”
I love this recipe, by the way! I am going to make it without the bread, as I’m trying to lose a few. Ugh.
Nothing like clear communication! Lol! I’m surprised that my wife hasn’t chimed in. She really means ‘I just want you to not complain for one hour.’
My husband bought me roses once and I told him never to waste his money on something so useless again. They just die, what good are cut flowers? We haven’t celebrated Valentines for about 18 years. I don’t like to eat out. A home cooked meal is the way to my heart any day! Today’s recipe would suit me fine. Pinning it.
Well, shucks. That’s very nice of you. (And you sound like my kind of woman!)
Thanks for your instructions about Val.Day. Your thoughts certainly beat the certificate for a session of training at the gym that I once received. If anyone cooks for me….I consider that a great present.
My pleasure, Barb. I’m glad you stopped by.
My husband is getting his wisdom tooth out on the 14th, so I’ve promised to bring him both natural and plain yoghurt for dinner that evening! (we are such an old married couple, before we are even properly old) PS, Chaucer rocks, as does a haiku that summarised the Canterbury Tales as “roadde trippe!”
You are such a good wife.
Hahahaha I have actually seen my mum do the same old lines and my dad knows better now
Great post!
Cheers
Choc Chip Uru
Thanks! I hope all is well Down Under!
My friend Harry used to be the most popular man at work on Valentine’s Day. He’d grab a stack of his business cards, head down to the reception desk & swap out the little cards for his own on all the flower arrangements that were lined up.
I never mind flowers or chocolate on any day but this meal looks like something I’d really swoon over. Looks like I just need to get out for a couple of things & I’ve got my Valentine meal all planned – thank you again, Adam & have a peaceful Valentine’s Day.
Harry is my kind of guy. And you have a nice Valentine’s Day yourself, Diane.
My husband would love this meal…Unfortunately for me, he only gets paid on the 15th and 30th each month, so unless he plans ahead (which he never does), my Valentine’s Day treats are always a day late. Fortunately for him, everything’s always 50% off! as long as I wind up with some form of Reese’s PB something-or-other, we’re good!
I tell my girlfriends not to wear red on Valentine’s day, but nobody listens. I don’t believe we should wait for Valentine’s day to show love and affection, or to give roses and chocolates. Every day is a good day for that and I wear purple and gold on Valentine. BTW, Pollo di Raimondo looks fantastic.
I will wear whatever is ironed and ready to go on V-Day. lol.. Thanks for the kind words!
Adam, that’s a better idea than my purple color.
That Pollo di Raimondo sounds divine. Wish you lived around the corner and cooked it for me
Never tried mashed cauli though. (Actually, never heard of it before)
Thanks! Smashed cauliflower is one of those dishes I’m experimenting with to replace ‘white’ starches (potatoes, rice, etc.) in my diet. By no means am I making a concerted effort to become healthy though.
I LOVE spaghetti – my favourite food. And I equally love bolognese sauce over cooked cauliflower instead of pasta. Topped with cheese of course. Really yummy! Have you tried that?
I have not, but I see that happening in the very near future around here! Thanks for the suggestion!
I think I agree AND disagree. We have a “no gifts” policy for Valentine’s and for our anniversary. For the latter we tend to go out for dinner. For the former we usually stay in and make something nice together after the kids go to bed. We always enjoy both and I am in no way disappointed when The Hubs arrives home from work empty-handed. We’re spending time together and that’s the point. HOWEVER, on the odd occasion when he hsa happened to grab some flowers at the grocery store or snag a box of chocolates at the 7-eleven when stopping for gas and has off-handedly said, “I know, no gifts. But I saw this and thought you’d like it” I have been tickled with happiness. So, no gifts is good and fine but that tiny bit of thoughtfulness that a gift shows can also mean so much.
Without a doubt, Christine, the ‘just because’ gifts work every time. Glad you stopped by!
I’m afraid I don’t celebrate Valentines, I’m unromantic and cynical at that, if my husband needs a card to tell him I love him he’d be better off with a slap, having said that I’m in the process of making mini lemon meringue pie so I at least say I made an effort with pudding tonight..
That looks absolutely gorgeous, I doubt I’d be able to procure provolone, I could use Gruyere or Emmental instead..
I’m shall make something similar I think, thanks for the inspiration.
Unromantic? Cynical? My kind of woman!
Ha! Ha! Guilty as charged. I don’t know how many times I ended up feeling miserable because I said,”No, no, don’t worry about me!” — And now, A NOTE: A while back, I received the Very Inspiring Blogger Award. While I acknowledged the award, I failed to notify the bloggers I selected to be the next recipients. Please accept my apology and the overdue award. You can find acceptance rules (if you choose to participate) at the bottom of the February 16 special edition of my Weekend Highlights (at Granny’s Parlour), which will feature the 15 award recipients I have selected. Thank you for being part of this blogosphere!
Thanks Granny! I’ve been guilty every time of not passing those awards along. It’s not that I don’t want to. I’m just too lazy.
There is no arm twisting from this end!
Omg I just made this and it is heaven… Subbed Serrano ham and chicken thighs cause that’s what was here, and dang! You’re awesome
Thanks!