Confession No. 82 — Rudeness is unbecoming. More so for some.
‘I hate rude behavior in a man. I won’t tolerate it.’ — Capt. Woodrow Call (Tommy Lee Jones) in Lonesome Dove, after beating a man nearly to death.
Out of certain people I expect certain things. But, like one of my favorite movie characters ever, I’ve yet to find a good reason for rudeness. No matter your accent or circumstances, rude is rude. It’s unacceptable always — and even less acceptable with certain people.
This past week I attended a conference in Corpus Christi, TX. If you’re not familiar with Corpus Christi, it’s a small city of about 300,000 people situated on Texas’ lower Gulf Coast. While there are 500 other Texas cities that I’d rather visit, the ocean breezes are constant and the place is quite scenic, for the most part. — OK. That was rude. Sorry Corpus Christi. My bad.
Our conference was held at the city’s most celebrated hotel. Every room has a view. Every employee aims to please. And, as usual, I witnessed someone taking advantage.
‘OK, Ma’am, we’ll get these bags up to your room immediately,’ the young bellhop said. ‘Would you like us to park your vehicle?’
‘No, I told the lady at the desk that I’d be self-parking,’ she responded bluntly, as if the guys working the entrance should somehow have ESP.
‘Sure thing,’ the young man said. ‘Well, you’ll want to take a right from the driveway and the parking garage is —’
‘I know where the parking garage is,’ she interrupted. ‘Please close my trunk. I’m tired.’
‘Yes, Ma’am,’ he politely responded as he reached up to pull down the hatch on her older model Toyota 4Runner.
‘Pull lightly,’ the woman barked at him. ‘Do not slam it!’
As this short exchange was going on, I looked at my wife and shook my head.
‘Do you think this woman needs hormone therapy,’ I asked my wife?’
‘Well I was this close to telling the lady to shut her own damn trunk,’ she said as we walked toward the entrance.
The rude woman, by the way, was among about 300 public relations specialists attending our annual conference to help us brush up on our skills. Yep. Public relations.
As it goes, I’ve seen my wife go head to head with a New York City parking lot owner. I’ve heard her blast the owner of the most highly rated Italian restaurant in Dallas. I’ve seen her jump up at a conference with my sons ‘team’ of teachers and rebuke one particular teacher in the heaviest of New Jersey accents. (It was awesome.)
In all of those cases, someone had been rude to her.
At the end of the conference, as I was checking out at around 11 a.m., I stood next to a man trying to check in. (Check-in time is at 3 p.m. at this hotel, and it’s clearly posted.)
‘I checked in electronically,’ the man told the desk clerk.
‘Yes, Sir. And it looks like everything went through fine,’ she said. ‘If you’ll just stop by this desk in a few hours, we’ll get you a room key.’
‘I can’t have a room key now,’ the man asked, surprised?’
‘Sir, there are no rooms available at the moment,’ she responded. ‘Guests are still checking out and our cleaning staff are working to make the rooms ready for you.’
‘Well … I don’t know what we’re going to do for the next few hours,’ he said, frustrated. ‘This is ridiculous.’
As the man walked away from the check-in desk, I noticed his badge. It said ‘Clergy.’
If only my wife had been there to rebuke him.
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Tonight, millions of people will see some of the best fake smiles ever; some of the world’s most popular (and richest) people patting themselves on the back; and plenty of shameless plugs for overpriced (borrowed) clothing items and gaudy accoutrements. It’s Oscars night.
I’ve not watched the annual three-hour ego fest in several years, and it’s primarily because they don’t have a category for best food/cooking scene. While there have been some really memorable vignets of the epicurean variety — Jack Nicholson in ‘Five Easy Pieces;’ Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger in ’9½ Weeks;’ and the strüdel scene in ‘Inglorious Basterds’ — my favorite of all time comes from ‘Goodfellas,’ in which several wiseguys share a large cell in a federal prison. Because they are ‘connected,’ they are able to get ingredients from the outside. The scene showing ‘Paulie’ (Paul Sorvino) slice the garlic with a razor blade makes me hungry for New York Italian-style ‘Gravy and Macaroni’ every time.
Is it ‘sauce?’ Or is it ‘gravy?’ Arguments can be made either way, but one thing’s for sure. It’s good. Our version of Sunday Gravy (called such because many people cook this on Sundays) includes chicken, instead of the traditional meatballs. Mix up the meat ratios however you desire. Throw in some beef or veal shanks, if you choose. There are no two Sunday Gravy dishes that are alike.
Sunday Gravy with Pasta
‘Sunday Gravy’ with Italian sausage, chicken and pork. Fuggeddaboudit!
1 lb – Pork chops or pork ribs, trimmed of fat
1 lb – Hot Italian Sausage
3 – Split Chicken breasts, bone-in (or 1 lb – Italian meatballs – see note)
3 TB – Extra virgin olive oil
4 – Garlic cloves, minced
2 – 28 oz cans Crushed Tomatoes
1 – 12 oz can Tomato paste
Beef or veal stock (optional)
2 tsp – Dried Thyme
2 tsp – Dried Oregano
1 tsp – Freshly ground black pepper
1/4 cup – Fresh Basil
Kosher salt, to taste
1 lb. pasta
In a large stockpot, heat oil over medium-high heat. Add chops (or ribs) and cook for about 2 minutes per side, browning lightly. Set browned chops aside, and repeat with sausages, then the chicken breasts.
Your pan should have a little extra oil. If not, add another TB, or so, of olive oil. Add garlic and cook until aromatic, about 1 minute.
Add tomato paste and a couple of (12 oz cans) of water. Combine. Add crushed tomatoes and 2 (28 oz cans) water or stock. (Your sauce will be thin. No worries.) Add dried herbs (thyme, oregano and black pepper), then add meat to sauce.
Bring sauce to a light boil, then lower heat to medium/medium-low (you want a light bubbling simmer). Cover loosely, so that steam can escape and sauce can reduce slightly.
Cook over low heat for about 4 hours, skimming as necessary. Add fresh basil during the last 15 minutes of cooking.* Serve over al dente pasta with warm bread for sopping.
Serves 5 (with plenty of ‘gravy’ for leftovers)
*Note – I like to remove the meat after about 3 hours so that I can also remove any stray bones. This is especially important if you are using meatballs, as they are very fragile. I then reduce the sauce over a slightly higher heat for the final hour, adding the meat and basil back to the sauce during the last 15 minutes of simmering.
Oh my, that looks so good.
Thanks! (Pasta is very difficult for me to photograph. I’m not sure why.)
Doesn’t seem like it. You did a great job. It looks scrumptious.
You’re very kind. Thanks.
Nice post! I like the idea of the chicken. I have been fascinated by Italian Gravy/Sauce even though there ie no Italian in my background that I know of… I don’t know if you saw any of my 8 part Sunday Gravy Project? You can take a look here, if not:
http://sybaritica.me/2012/10/11/the-sunday-gravy-experiment-part-1-the-introduction/
Thanks for sharing that link. No, I had not read that. Glad I did!
I had a chuckle when you called a city of 300K small. We have 26K and we are a small city!
Love the post.
I had to think about that before writing it. Technically, I live in a city too (we have a city council, etc.). But, for all intents and purposes, I live in a town. I appreciate your kind words, by the way!
We are pretty much the biggest game around. Decent culture aside from here is a good hour away.
We are about 80,000. There is another town of about 100,000 about 30 minutes away. But we are situated between Shreveport/Bossier, LA (about 475,000) and the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex (about 6.5 million). My ‘city’ is definitely a ‘town.’
Congrats on your 100th post, by the way!
Thanks.
Rudeness annoys me too. But sadly I think the act of busting the chops of rude people is totally lost on them. Rudeness comes from being entitled or a victim in your own mind. Rarely are people able to get out of their own head long enough to see the world does not revolve around them. Sigh! Maybe the hatefully lady at the hotel will see this blog and be embarrassed. We can only hope.
Nah. She won’t. Besides, you are correct — If she did read it, she’d think I was talking about someone else.
Lucky for me – we are having spaghetti and meatballs tonight. I was looking for a new recipe and then…..there you were, offering me one! Thanks! Rudeness generally is an off shoot of insecurity – “let me be rude to you so you will think I’m important because obviously, I am not, even to myself”. When people are rude to me, I sort of exploit that insecurity if I’m feeling my oats that day. Like, I will see some flaw in their clothing or make up or hair and sweetly draw attention to it. Usually freaks them out and I get a little chuckle.
Oh, I definitely think there’s some insecurity there. I think, with the preacher, it was more of a self-inflated sense of importance. Too bad that members of his flock weren’t there to see him acting like an ass. — Glad to be of help to you in your dinner recipe quest!
You left out the apple pie scene in When Harry Met Sally…”I’ll have what she’s having”".
I hate rude. I don’t usually tear someone a new one if they’ve been rude to me, but if I see them be rude to others, especially someone in a weaker position, I will jump right in…it’s on like Donkey Kong, as they say, at that point. This happens most often at places of business, when a manager or owner treats an employee badly in front of customers. I will always say something to them.
I love Sunday gravy….I make it often. I couldn’t decide what I’d make tonight, but you’ve helped me decide. I better get crackin’.
Oh, Christine. That ‘When Harry Met Sally’ scene just hits too close to home for me.
Hahaha…
You forgot Big Night. It’s all about the food baby!
Your Sunday gravy looks awesome!
Never heard of it. I’ll check Netflix.
Thanks!
I was just going to recommend the movie Big Night, but I see that Terri beat me to it. I enjoyed your post.
Thank you, Laurie!
Love that your wife rebukes rude people in the heaviest of NJ accents!! You go, girl!! I still have my NJ accent when I get upset, too! And then I throw in the Italian temper!! Ha!
Anyway, we “saucie” Italian folks put everything in our sauce, too: Boiled eggs, pork chops, chicken, sausage, along with meatballs…so I must say, I am so proud of you!
Let me tell you something — when Catherine gets going (she’s Irish), I back up. lol.. Thank you!
Adam…you are a smart man!!
Bloody clergy!! The recipe looks effing fantastic though!
Excellent post, as always! Loved the part about rude people. I lived in NY, where rude is so common that when someone is nice it’s a surprise. We assume they must be from another state.
Rude is common everywhere. It’s just that in NY/NJ, they also cannot control their volume.
HA!! SO TRUE!! (I’m yelling)
Lol <— (Laughing Out Loud, but not too loudly)
Your wife is awesome! My biggest pet peeve is people being rude (especially in situations like you mentioned). And I agree with an earlier commenter that it usually comes from people feeling entitled (another huge pet peeve). Thanks for sharing this post, I really enjoyed it!
I tend to tell people off (like your wife) when they are rude to others, but usually hold my tongue when it’s aimed at me.
I hope my wife is reading this, because she’s building quite a fan club. Yes, she’s a badass when it comes to rescuing others, but will often (but not always) allow people to be rude to her.
Just nominated you for a couple of awards, sir. So if you partake in that sort of thing, drop by and see!
Thank you, Natalia! That’s some pretty good company that you’ve grouped me with and I am flattered.
It takes so much energy to be gnarly…ya know when I witness things like this, I just wanna turn around, look at the person, and say ‘Well, now darlin, sho licked the red off your lollipop!??” Good post, good food…thatsahwrap! xo Ally
Thanks, Ally! I like the response!
Do you think when people travel on business that they feel a little more important since they’re on expense accounts? Possibly staying & eating at places that might be above what they normally are used to. I had a bizarre encounter in a grocery store parking lot with a young lady who came up into my face while I was putting my groceries in the car. She had an armload of laundry & demanded that I tell her where the laundromat that the “idiot, jerkface” at the hotel told her was in the plaza. I paused thinking about where one might be since I don’t need to use a laundromat. Guess I wasn’t quick enough because she screamed at me – “Forget it ! I don’t have time for this – we’re not all in the kitchen baking cookies all day!!”. I had to laugh because I was just on a day off from work but I wasn’t the one dropping my underwear in a parking lot acting like a spoiled brat.
That sauce looks marvelous. I grew up with sauce is tomato based & gravy is brown, meat based. I’m thinking it doesn’t matter what you call it, if it tastes as good as it looks, you’ve got a super Sunday supper.
Good call, Diane. We were at the Omni Bayfront. Not exactly the Ritz Carlton, but not the Holiday Inn either. The encounter with the laundry lady is classic. You think she ran out of meth and was taking it out on you? lol
I think this you lady was suffering from an ego problem, possibly enhanced by chemicals. I was thinking that if she spoke to the hotel staff (her comments about them made me think she was a little bit ugly) the way she spoke to me, I’m surprised they didn’t send her on a wild goose chase to find a laundromat. As it was I realized after she stormed off that she’d missed the plaza by one & went 1 exit too far – but I’m sure you can understand why, when I realized where she should have turned that I didn’t go running after her to re-direct her…petty I know.
I’m not sure that it’s petty. Who wants to be verbally assaulted in a parking lot by a crazy person? Although, I might have insisted on giving her directions — so that I could also tell her that she really needs to shake her cocaine habit.
Rudeness surprises me anymore–Living in small-town SoDak, people still stop and help strangers without any thought (something that, after 8 1/2 years out here, I’m STILL getting used to!), and people still say “Hi” to one another when they pass on the street. All that aside, that pasta looks divine! My college boyfriend was half-Italian & I loved visiting his parents just for all the authentic dishes I’d get to try!
Thanks, Rachel! Too bad more people haven’t spent some time in small towns and learned how to behave.
HAHA I live in Our Nation’s Capital, Canberra… it is a small city of 350 000 people…
I think your wife and I would get along famously. I can’t tolerate rudness either. I often have people come up to the counter where I work and ask where the toilets are. They usually just turn away the minute my index finger is stretched in the right direction… i call out “you’re welcome…” after them.
Admittedly, I did something similar about a week ago. A lady (co-worker whom I didn’t know) pulled into the parking lot at the same time as me. We both got out of our cars and walked toward the entrance. She was about four steps in front of me when she opened the door and walked through — not holding it for me. Two seconds later, I opened the door and said ‘Thank you.’ About an hour later, we crossed paths in the hallway and she smiled at me as if she had not been rude. I think she was oblivious to her behavior.
I really think so many people just are oblivious. I’ve even been talking to people and they walk away mid (my) sentence. And I will then say “or you could just walk away while I”m talking to you”… they never get it…
That’s funny. I like to say ‘I wasn’t talking…’ when someone walks away or interrupts.
Hehe i love “thank you for talking while I was interrupting…”
I wish I had some pithy insight to share, but all I can do is shake my head. The public relations person is bad enough, but for a pastor to treat someone like that makes me very sad. I would have definitely said something, but probably just ask a pointed question about his church.
I wasn’t saddened. But, then again, I drove two preachers (in two separate incidents) to use profanity when I was a child.
This looks too yummy for words!
Thank you, Leilani!
Nice,looks very good will try it over the weekend.We have a nice butcher just at the end of our road,all of the meat he sells is local and within a radius of 30 miles of his shop I’m going to call in and order 4 nice big pork chops with my name on for Friday collection,will let you know how I get on and try to do justice to your recipe.
Woo hoo! I’m flattered and jealous (that you have a butcher). Please send pictures!
Soon as I can get out of the house I will send you some pictures also a few from the Farmers market that we have in Brigg Lincolnshire every month we are very lucky to have a lot of small local shops here that sell fresh produce from Linclonshire.Your recipes are very good Adam I am glad I came across your blog great reading and Eating!!!
Thank you! I appreciate that there are a few people out there who like what I do.
First- I am madly in love with Lonesome Dove. I think I’ve watched it like 900 times. Maybe even 901 even though that would be overkill.
Second- I think I’m madly in love with your wife. Her reaction to rudeness sounds like mine. Though I’m not sure if that would be rather narcissistic of me and sounds like I am, by extension, in love with myself. (Oy… I’m making my brain bleed. I need a drink.)
Third- OMG, please come make that pasta for me. I’ll buy the wine. Then I’ll drink the wine.. and probably not share.
Fourth- did I mention that whole I think I’m in love with your wife thing?
Thanks, Janet! My wife likes ‘Lonesome Dove’ too. Why? Because she has excellent taste and keeps hoping that Gus will marry Lorie — instead of just cutting cards.
Perfect post for me this morning!
I work with students, and many of them can be so damn rude. Had the following texting exchange earlier today:
Student: When am i getn paid?
(No hello. No proper spelling. Just that)
Me: Hi M***n. You will be paid on the last day of the month, as always.
Student: K
(Not “okay”. Not thank you. Just K)
People suck.
My suggested response: Y R U N S
(Thank you for your kind words!)
Note to self: Pictures of food porn pasta in the morning is a bad idea. Avert eyes until stomach is full of coffee.
On the other hand – SO MUCH YES. I hate rude people – not everyone can be nicey Stacey all the time, but it won’t kill someone to be polite. Everytime you’re rude, a magic fairy dies – DON’T KILL TEH FAIRIES PEOPLE.
What’s up with looking at food porn in the morning? I do the same thing and kick myself almost every time — as I swig black coffee and pretend that it’s some sort of … food porn. I didn’t realize fairies were dying as that b-word woman was telling the bellhop not to slam her trunk. Damn. She’s a murderer.
Ok, after reading all of these posts Adam, I may mot be able to get my head out the door
I have to share this… Today a very rude parent call the principal (of the school I work at) some very ugly things to her face. As the parent was walking down the office corridor on her way out, still spewing ugliness – Mrs. G (probably the classiest lady I know) in the nicest and politest voice said. “Good bye, Don’t come back.”
DAMN!! She is classy!!
I chuckled all day long over her response.
Whoa! I was about to delete this comment, because I didn’t know you read my blog (and thought this was an imposter). I just want you to know that any time you see me dissing my in-laws, I’m really talking about my fictional in-laws.
Totally dig this pasta and would likely eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. On a side note I just don’t get people any more. Rude people seem to rule the world these days. And don’t get me started on screaming kids in stores.
Kim – Screaming kids in stores are a result of their parents. I’ve been guilty of it, but I also took the blame.
Oh, Adam. Just reading this post made my blood pressure rise. I can’t stand rude, thoughtless, ridiculous, illogical, unreasonable people. I don’t give a damn what your profession, sex, age, whatever is, there’s no reason to act like that. Now, let me focus instead on your amazing pasta dish to calm me down.
I agree. No reason whatsoever.
Interesting to see an American version of a famous dish from Naples, called ragù there. In Naples beef is used instead of chicken and rhe pasta will be eaten first, followed by the meat. But I bet your version tasted great as well. Also like your story about rudeness and would love to have witnessed your wife NJ style rebuke
Thank you, Sir! She’s definitely a pistol!
I salute people in the service industry and I can’t imagine what they have to put up with. My son was dating a girl who for some reason was so rude to restaurant waiters that I had to call her out on it. She was embarrassing. Love your take on why not to watch the Oscars. I most certainly think there should be a food category. I think my most memorable and probably because it’s so recent, is Julie making bruschetta at the beginning of Julie and Julia. Being from the middle of Kansas, gravy is a milk and flour combination made from the left over Crisco used in frying chicken. With that said, I did make Sunday Gravy once, a recipe from someone from New Jersey. It cooked all afternoon and it was IN-credible.
Good for you, Lea Ann, for calling the girl out. You probably were doing her a favor in the process. — I don’t care really for any awards shows, local or national, unless I have a friend or family member being honored. When it comes to the Oscars, I really see that as a large room full of huge egos patting each other on the back.