Food Snob Chronicles — Selected Letters
If you’re new around these parts, all you need to know is that Thursdays are my grab bag. Be it an interview about culinary history, the lowdown on a popular ingredient or the inside scoop on that foreign-looking ingredients list, the ‘Food Snob Chronicles’ is my chance to put on my reporter’s cap.
This time around, I’m sharing my mail.
I receive many letters. They run the gamut — exciting; boring; surprising; and shocking. Many of them are unsolicited, while others are responses to blog entries, Google+ or Facebook posts … and my Yelp restaurant reviews.
Before you read
A couple of weeks ago, my wife accompanied me to a PR conference in Corpus Christi. Though it is a jewel of a city on the Texas coast, the restaurant scene is equivalent to your neighborhood mall food court.
So, I consulted Yelp and a few friends for a good Tex-Mex restaurant. The consensus was clear. Kiko’s — in business since the mid 1970s.
But I was far from impressed and left this Yelp review after our experience there.
Then, I heard from the (new) owner.
Hi Adam,
I appreciate you taking the time to write your review. I’m sorry that you and your wife didn’t enjoy your meal, but I have to say I’m surprised to read your descriptions of our food. In fact, your description of the taco shells and the Queso [sic] are inaccurate. There is no way a person can tell one taco shell from another, that’s hilarious! Unless your picture is hiding the truth…Velveeta couldn’t come close to the way we make our Queso [sic]. Although, I take that as a complement [sic]. People desperately try to duplicate the Queso [sic] without success. Regarding the hot sauce, again, you have no idea what goes into a hot sauce. Salt, oh no, no, no… I do agree with you on cilantro, however. Hot sauce should have cilantro as an ingredient, unfortunately, my customers do not agree with you or me. We try it every few years to see if palates have changed and this is what they like. Why change something that has worked for 36 years? Now getting to the shrimp, I agree that the shrimps [sic] not right and have taken action to correct the problem. Again thank you for your words of wisdom. I enjoy reading the good and the bad and look forward to have you dine with us again.
Sincerely,
Marcus
Owner
Like any good journalist, I phoned the restaurant to confirm that Marcus is, in fact, the owner — and that he wrote me the letter. He bought the restaurant from his parents this past October. And, yes. He really did appreciate my words of wisdom … and responded accordingly.
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I’d never even heard of Marsala wine, much less Chicken Marsala, before 1994 — when I moved to the Garden State. It’s been a regular part of my repertoire since. Be careful to read the Marsala label, because there’s a huge difference between the sweet and dry. (I’ve made Marsala with the sweet and it’s definitely … tangy.)
Chicken Marsala
Chicken Marsala is gourmet quick & easy. Serve with pasta and a green vegetable.
1 lb – Chicken tenderloins
1/4 cup – All-purpose flour
1 TB – Kosher salt
Freshly ground Black Pepper
4 TB – Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1 – Garlic clove, minced
1 cup – Baby Portobello mushrooms, sliced
4 TB – Butter
1 tsp – Dried Basil
1/2 cup – Chicken stock
1/2 cup – Dry Marsala wine
Season chicken with salt and black pepper. Dredge in flour, shaking off excess.
In a medium saucepan, heat oil to medium-high. Fry chicken for about 2 minutes per side, until lightly browned. Set chicken pieces aside. Repeat.
If all oil is gone, add another TB, or two and bring to medium-high heat. Add garlic and stir constantly until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Add butter and mushrooms. Cook for another 2 minutes, or so.
Add stock, Marsala and dried basil. Stir until combined. Continue stirring until reduced slightly and thickened somewhat. Add cooked chicken pieces, making sure that all are coated. Cook for another 2 minutes, or so, then turn off heat.
Cover and allow to sit for about 3-4 minutes. Season to taste with Kosher salt. Serve with pasta.
Serves 5.
“YAY! A new post by Adam!” (My response when I see a new post of yours in my Reader. There is also the clapping of hands.)
I love, love chicken masala. Hubby prefers the veal version but the carnivore that is me can eat lamb but not veal. Go figure. Anyhoo, this looks delicious. It’s cool that the owner wrote you back after that review. At least he keeps his ear to the ground. Odd way of saying that ‘the customer is always right’ though.
The customer is always right — unless he claims salsa should have cilantro; queso tastes like Velveeta; or taco shells are cold and stale.
Damn, I’m gonna be on my toes when you come to my house for dinner! Chix masala is one of my faves, and this looks great…I’m so freakin’ hungry right now sitting in the ATL aiport Delta Crownroom w/nothing but Tillamook cheddar and some olives…plenty of chard to wash it down! xo
Cheddar and olives sound pretty darn good, actually!
Safe travels!
THAT was the best restaurant review I’ve ever read. Just wanted to let you know.
Thank you, Jen.
I know exactly what you mean about the Old El Paso taco shells! I could picture them as soon as you mentioned them. And I don’t know anyone who hates cilantro in their salsas. Weird.
Apparently you and I are ‘hilarious’ for being able to spot a crappy mass-produced taco shell. lol
I’ve been called worse!
I’ve seen some outright mean reviews on Yelp and I don’t consider it a reliable anymore. You were very fair in that you provided facts. By the way, I love your chicken marsala dish!
Thank you, Sir. You make a good point and I’m with you.
I have two reviews that (the business owners) would likely consider ‘mean.’ I’ve blogged about one in these very pages numerous times. Plus, there are other reviews very similar to mine regarding this guy. — In the other case, it’s a local service station owned by a guy who loves to tout his patriotism (which is his way of touting his integrity). On Sept. 11, 2001, he jacked his gasoline prices by 400 percent and was rebuked by the state. That act was enough to earn a lifetime boycott from yours truly. In both reviews, I offer facts about these businesses, in addition to my opinions.
Fortunately, for those two shysters, my reviews are seldom read. And, the world really doesn’t care what Adam J. Holland thinks, when it boils down to it.
A fair assessment and a fair response. I’m always so happy when 2 people can have civil debate – don’t they teach that in schools anymore? I must say though —-YUK YUK YUK – NO cilantro in hot sauce!!!! Sorry, tastes like soap to me. Now that Chicken dish you made would be fabulous on this cold rainy day with mashed potatoes, hot rolls, and a salad! YUM YUM YUM!
Kelli, Kelli, Kelli. Soap? What kind of soap are you using? Better yet, where the heck are you buying your cilantro?
Farmer’s market of course! It tastes just like Dawn dish soap and the reason I know what THAT tastes like has to do with a curse word I said when I was about 13 years old!
That could be the very reason I like cilantro — because I acquired a taste for soap (bar and dish) throughout my salty childhood.
I’ll try that chicken recipe…I make steak with marsala, but for some reason never chicken.
Interesting, Helen. I’ve had it with pork, veal and chicken. Never even thought about making it with beef. I think I might just do that. Glad you stopped by!
I’m glad the restaurant owner replied to you with his experience. I might not like his food either but he gets points for the effort. I’ll have Kelli’s cilantro even though it’s called coriander in Australia. Aussies don’t make any difference in the leaves and roots.
I really enjoy chicken marsala and yours looks so happy on that plate.
Thank you, Maureen! Coriander (in North America at least) is the seed of the Cilantro plant. They taste nothing alike. Are the roots good to eat? I’ve never had them.
I loved reading your restaurant review on Yelp. And so glad you shared the owner’s response. We have our place like that in Denver. Everyone clamors over the Tex-Mex food that I feel is barely a step above Taco Bell. I’ve had Chicken Marsla exactly once at a Restaurant, it was so incredible that I’m surprised I’ve never tried it at home. I’m putting it on the bucket list. Did I ever tell you that I made your Meyer Lemon Pasta and it was DEElicious Adam. What a nice recipe.
Thank you, Lea Ann, for the kind words. Do consider including Chicken Marsala in your regular list of recipes. It’s too easy (and delicious) not to.
Chicken Marsala – one of my all time favorite meals & yours looks perfect. I loved your restaurant review & as I was looking at others’ comments noticed that there were plenty of people who agreed with you.
Thank you, Diane. How funny. I was just inhaling your cinnamon rolls through my computer screen. — I’m not sure how many people agree with me, but one thing’s for sure: Marcus didn’t.
No, Marcus certainly did not agree with you although he probably won’t be including you in that group who is “desperately trying to recreate his queso”. Wonder why no one has been successful?
To claim that someone is ‘desperately’ trying to recreate that queso is like saying that a group of gourmands have convened to recreate grape-flavored Kool-Aid. The queso wasn’t terrible. In fact, it was what I expected: processed pasteurized cheese food. Hey, I like Velveeta. But I don’t pretend like it’s 3-year-old cave-aged Cheddar.