If greeting card sales and massive search engine returns are reliable indicators, friendship is a good thing. But friend problems also seem to be a popular subject, with more than 662 million results from Google alone.
Why is friendship grief so much more (search engine) prominent than Coca Cola and chocolate — combined? Well, let me tell you!
If you’re reading this and you’re married, I have a question for you. Have any of your married friends divorced? If you answered ‘yes,’ I have another question. Did your friendship continue with either previously-married person?
There are about 800,000 divorces in the U.S. every year. That means there are roughly 3.2 million people who also lost married friends. Oh sure, there are some exceptions. But the majority of friendships between married couples tend to come to an end when one couple divorces. Blame it on awkwardness, uneasiness about bringing up the past, or whatever you will. It’s just an uncomfortable situation.
Going off the religious deep end
Now, before you go accusing me of being a member of hell’s hoodlums, allow me to qualify. Our religious beliefs, whatever they might be, tend to bring us close to many people in life. And it makes sense, considering the deep nature of such convictions.
But when a friend rattles said foundation by hooking up with the likes of a David Koresh, Warren Jeffs or Jim Jones, we’re done. No questions asked. Also, if just this past weekend you and I lost count of the beers we drank and money we lost at the craps tables, give it at least a month before you tell me you’re a changed man. I doubt I’ll believe you, but I’ll certainly do away with the beer you left in my fridge. After all, you’re the changed man — not me.
With all due respect to my friends who are changing their lives by giving up their careers to recruit people to ‘be under’ them, it was nice knowing you.
I have nothing against certain laundry soaps, cooking equipment, scented waxes or plastic containers. Hell, I might even buy some from you. But every single last one of you always seems to cross that line of asking me whether I’m happy at my job.
And it always goes down hill from there.
Friends always manage to take it personally when I tell them that Mondays are my ‘Fridays.’ They tend to get upset with me when I contradict them by saying that I am not ‘working for the man’ but ‘for the people.’ And they usually start to break down their presentation easels when I maintain that I’ll listen but not join the so-called network.
Here’s the deal: I enjoy going to the games with you, talking bad about whoever is in office and arguing with you about the best drummer in the history of rock & roll. I don’t need a business mentor though. And if I did, it wouldn’t be through a company that prides itself on the false hopes of its ‘consultants.’
If our friendship somehow withstands your divorce and three months in Jonestown with your multi-level marketing network, we might consider going on vacation together.
But I’d rather not.
During that week together, we’d be more likely to learn how much we actually don’t have in common. In the least, I’d probably realize that one (of you) is too good for the other; or that one of you swears by herbal remedies. And you might just learn who I voted for, or how I really feel about your misbehaving children.
And those are just four of the problems with friends. Want to hear the other 661,999,996?
If you like what you read here, please help me spread the word. I’d also love for you to join me on Facebook (click the ‘like’ button), Pinterest and Google+. — Special thanks to Megan E. Hawkins at The Underground Writer for editing this piece.
If you knew that Mexican Independence Day is celebrated on September 16, raise your hand. ~ Yes, Monday is a national holiday in Mexico to celebrate the country’s independence from Spanish rule. It happened way back in 1810. Around these northeast Texas parts, that’s reason enough to break out the cilantro an chiles. I’d planned to bring you the most famous of all dishes served this week in Mexico, but my pomegranates are just shy of being ripe. Instead, I offer you a delicious Tex-Mex style orzo salad. Serve it alongside enchiladas for a delectable change of pace.
OK. Both of you can lower your hands now.
Creamy Tex-Mex Orzo Salad
2 cups – Orzo pasta
3/4 cup – Corn, roasted*
Juice of 1 Lime
1/4 cup – Sour cream
1/4 cup – Mayonaise
1/4 cup – Mild salsa
1/4 cup – Cilantro leaves, chopped
Optional: 1 cup cherry tomatoes, halved; 1 medium avocado, chunked
In 2 quarts of salted water, cook orzo per package instructions. Drain and rinse with cold water. Mix in corn, cilantro and lime juice.
Combine sour cream, mayonnaise, salsa. Add to orzo mixture. Refrigerate for 2-3 hours. Add sliced cherry tomatoes and avocado chunks, if desired.
Makes about four cups.
- Pan method — Heat 2 tsp vegetable oil to medium high in a saucepan. Cook kernels for about 10 minutes, until they begin to brown.
- Grill method — Spray or rub corn on the cob with vegetable oil; grill over medium heat for about 10 minutes, turning occasionally. Alternatively, butter the corn and wrap in aluminum foil; grill over low heat for about 13-15 minutes, turning occasionally.
- Oven method — Spray or rub corn on the cob with vegetable oil; wrap in aluminum foil and roast in the 350F oven (directly on the rack) for about 25 minutes.