The Unorthodox Epicure — Thai Grilled Chicken

Imagine this scenario: You pull into your driveway after a long day at work; you exit your car and the first thing that hits you is the aroma of whatever is cooking on the neighbor’s grill.  Oh, you’ve planned your menu and have insisted on sticking to it. But your Aunt Martha’s famous tuna casserole […]

Confession No. 113 — Some food fads can’t fade quickly enough (Recipe: Asian Chicken Meatballs w/ Szechuan Garlic Sauce)

What were long considered novelties in the world of pabulum and potables have become all too predictable. Now, I’m not typically one to take on my counterparts in the world of culinarians, but golly gee whilikers! Enough already with pumpkin-flavored this and bacon-enhanced that! And kale? Who made the executive decision to remove it from […]

Confession No. 105 – Crossing the line into awkwardness

It’s a feeling of deep discomfort … Being in the center of a room that becomes abruptly still. Your stomach muscles tighten like a hangman’s noose. You’re overcome with the feeling that time were standing still. The air coming from the vent pierces through the uncomfortable silence like a jet plane on take-off. If only […]

Confession No. 104 — Why I don’t miss opportunities to embarrass my children

I‘m supposed to be the adult. I’m expected to take the high road when it comes to my children, and avoid drawing from my strong desire for counter play. I’m supposed to understand that children are just that, and I should act according to responsible parenting standards. But, I tend to go out of my […]

Confession No. 103 — Who are we? Really? (Recipe: Shrimp Pad Thai)

I‘ve donned horns. Had jowls that drooped almost to my shoulders. Even represented myself as a single item of red-colored clothing. But that’s not who I am. Really. Neither did my son ever brandish an onyx-hued eye patch and sword. Nor did we ever feed our daughter by way of photosynthesis or pinch off her […]

Food Snob Chronicles — Food by the numbers (Recipe: Fresh Thai Spring Rolls)

Did you know that the average ear of corn has about 800 kernels? Or that the typical sunflower head contains more than 1,000 seeds? Indeed, I tend to despise numbers. But knowing that a TB of salt includes about 100,000 grains is just fascinating. It’s almost as impressive as knowing that we Americans drink about […]

Confession No. 96 – And they think I’m going to the dogs?

Every neighborhood, apartment building or trailer park has one. Neither economics nor affluency play a role with this person. But, almost always it’s a she. And there are two traits that she shares with her counterparts in other locales: a dire need for some serious couch time with a shrink. And her nickname. The ‘crazy’ […]

Food Snob Chronicles – Want to stay well? Avoid green leafy vegetables … and stupid human behavior

If you contracted a food-borne illness between 1998 and 2008, odds are you got it from eating spinach or kale. If that illness sent you to the hospital, it’s most likely that a dairy product was the culprit. And if it killed you? Well, you’d be pulling off quite a feat right now reading this […]

Confession No. 58 — Confidential to my parents: Your curse is in full swing … and then some

It’s happened. Again. For the fourth time. That curse placed upon me that I would have children much like myself? It’s alive and well. My parents had to hear about such incidents as the time(s) I was chastised at daycare for using profanity. The director, after once hearing me call someone a ‘shit damn,’ called […]

Confession No. 32 — Note to self: Don’t shop at gas station for wife’s Valentine’s gift

Pragmatism doesn’t go over well on wedding anniversaries and Valentine’s Day. It’s also a bad idea to attempt practicality when your significant other decides she wants to build a swimming pool, or is set to drive 4,000 miles with a 4-year-old in tow. As I have so many times during (what were supposed to be) […]