Confession No. 112 — A few words and phrases that you never want to hear

Ask the average person what words or phrases they despise and most of them will respond similarly. Profanity. Hateful expressions. Self-righteous assertions. Not me. Nope. I can handle the occasional swear word, rude comment or pompous ass. But there are a handful of contradictory or foreboding utterances that make my skin crawl. I hate to […]

Confession No. 111 — And they call this hunting because?

With my words, I expect to lose a few friends. Or at least bring on some 2 a.m. drunk cell phone calls from some area hunting condos. Yes. I said hunting condos. That is, after all, where many people ‘hunt’ from these days. There was a time when hunting was necessary for eating. My father […]

Confession No. 110 — What were we thinking? (Recipe: Chicken Vesuvio)

Some light bulbs should remain unlit. Ideas come and go. Some, like the retractable ball point ink pen or the internal combustion engine, are brilliant and life-changing. Others, such as sour cream & onion-flavored Jell-O or hydrogen-filled blimps, are better left alone. Organ stores in the malls Seems like a good idea. Hire an organist […]

Confession No. 109 — Really? You want us to shoot straight? (Recipe: Chinese Sesame Chicken)

Just admit it. You’re a liar. Before you get your knickers in a twist, I’m not referring to the fibs you tell your boss about why you are regularly tardy. Nor am I talking about that Facebook profile photo that took you 20 attempts and a good bit of Photoshop know-how. The lies I’m talking […]

Confession No. 107 – Yes, your kid would do such a thing! (Recipe: Chile-Dusted Shrimp w/ Fresh Grits)

I’ve been guilty of it at least a hundred times, just like my parents before me. And probably theirs before them. Without discretion or logic, we’ve believed our children. Such foolishness is akin to the crazy behavior that new lovers tend to exhibit toward one another. It’s a vacuum of carelessness and a false belief […]

Confession No. 105 – Crossing the line into awkwardness

It’s a feeling of deep discomfort … Being in the center of a room that becomes abruptly still. Your stomach muscles tighten like a hangman’s noose. You’re overcome with the feeling that time were standing still. The air coming from the vent pierces through the uncomfortable silence like a jet plane on take-off. If only […]

Confession No. 104 — Why I don’t miss opportunities to embarrass my children

I‘m supposed to be the adult. I’m expected to take the high road when it comes to my children, and avoid drawing from my strong desire for counter play. I’m supposed to understand that children are just that, and I should act according to responsible parenting standards. But, I tend to go out of my […]

Confession No. 103 — Who are we? Really? (Recipe: Shrimp Pad Thai)

I‘ve donned horns. Had jowls that drooped almost to my shoulders. Even represented myself as a single item of red-colored clothing. But that’s not who I am. Really. Neither did my son ever brandish an onyx-hued eye patch and sword. Nor did we ever feed our daughter by way of photosynthesis or pinch off her […]

Confession No. 102 — Of leaders, managers and followers (Recipe: Truck Stop Enchiladas)

Some people are born to lead. Most people aren’t. The problem, I’ve found, is that the non-leaders don’t seem to understand their many shortcomings. I’m not just talking about work or in the many volunteer groups that we’ve been a part of through the years. There is a much bigger picture. I’m talking about everything […]

Confession No. 99 – Give me darkness or a large audience, but open that can of biscuits somewhere else!

Yeah. I’m a guy and I’m scared of certain things. So, shoot me. I’d rather jump naked and bleeding into a tank of starving sharks than to ride one of those see-through elevators. It’s true. Heights cause uncontrollable shaking in my feet and a strong desire to collapse into the fetal position. Heck, the mere […]