The RV Chronicles — Cooking new school old school at the ‘Jimmy Rockford’ (Recipe: Texas Sloppy Joes)

My barbecue aficionado friends will accuse me of being sacrelige. Perhaps even treasonous. But still… Chopped barbecued beef sandwiches — just like they’re served here in Texas — require nothing but a slow cooker and a few key ingredients. There. I said it. Look, I’m a barbecue purist as much as the next guy. But […]

Food Snob Chronicles — Texas Chili 101 (Recipe: Texas Competition-style Chili)

First things first. Chile is the country and the fruit. Chili is the concoction. Who makes the best chili? Well, that all depends on where you live. If you are an Ohio native, you prefer your chili spiced with cinnamon and cloves and served over a bed of spaghetti. If you are from the northeast […]

Food Snob Chronicles — Have canned spinach, will travel for Lo Mein (Recipe: Spinach Meatballs Parmigiana)

For food, I have used coupons and discount cards, floated many a check, and even paid 19 percent credit card interest for a pizza. But, trading for vittles? Never. I’m not referring to my tomatoes for your squash. Or, your freshly baked bread for keeping you stocked in fresh salsa. Those are the conventional trades […]

Confession No. 92 — My new hidden addiction? (Recipe: Queso Fundido w/ Salsa Quemada)

I‘m a channel flipper. My propensity has introduced me on the radio to everything from XXX-rated talk shows (no kidding) to relatively unknown music from Clem Snide, Seasick Steve and Ray LaMontagne, among others. Flipping through TV broadcasts lately has led me to beautiful places that I never knew existed, docu-dramas about misbehaving felines and […]

Confession No. 91 — Women are know-it-alls. Really. (Recipe: Chicken Fried Steak w/ Sawmill Gravy

Only two people in my life have ever bought my underwear – my mom and (then) my wife. It’s not that I can’t do for myself. I just don’t know my size or where to find men’s skivvies in my local department store. But that’s not the only knowledge I’m not privy to. My wife, […]

Confession No. 82 — Rudeness is unbecoming. More so for some.

‘I hate rude behavior in a man. I won’t tolerate it.’ — Capt. Woodrow Call (Tommy Lee Jones) in Lonesome Dove, after beating a man nearly to death. Out of certain people I expect certain things. But, like one of my favorite movie characters ever, I’ve yet to find a good reason for rudeness. No […]

Confession No. 75 — Stop! Right now! Please? (Recipe: Caribbean-style Roasted Pork Shoulder)

I have a fairly thick skin. Fine. So I don’t, really. But, I’ve learned through the years to move on, or at least keep my trap shut. Sometimes, though, I forget to take my meds. Pajamas are for bedtime This could just be a Texas thing. Or, it could be isolated to my hometown. People […]

Food Snob Chronicles — What the [bleep] am I eating? (Recipe: Frito Pie)

Want to know what you’re eating? Don’t read the menu. There are dozens of items at restaurants across the U.S. that say one thing, but mean something else. From the pressed beef at Arby’s, to the paper dust (added at the factory to stretch the product) in many black pepper shakers, things aren’t always as […]

Confession No. 17 — My enchiladas aren’t really Mexican. They’re better.

One more thing … My Tex-Mex enchiladas aren’t my own concoction. The recipe wasn’t handed down to me from ancestors, or shared with me by the owner of my favorite ‘Mexican’ restaurant. These flute-shaped little tastes of Heaven were the creation of an Austin music producer. And despite that Joe Gracey’s addictive version of gooey […]